"Blue Wife" for a night

One thing about being here at USAG Yongsan that I am struggling with is the blended environment with a heavy dose of Army—this is after all an Army base. Last week I had the chance to feel like an Air Force wife surrounded by my fellow blue wives for a few hours. It was the first get together of the year for the Air Force wives on base; they meet September through May. As a welcome gift to all the new wives here at Yongsan, we were giving these ceramic ducks, Korean wedding ducks to be specific. They came with an explanation of the tradition.

Korean Wedding Ducks

Mandarin ducks mate for life and thus represent marital harmony and fidelity. In Korea, they are given as a symbol for a long and happy marriage. They are placed somewhere in the couple’s home and their position, adjusted by either spouse, tells of the couples marital state. Nose-to-nose means the relationship is good, tail-to-tail means they probably are having a tiff. Traditionally, the female’s beak is tied shut which assists in leading to marital harmony.

Rest assured, this duck’s bill is not tied!

TOO Much of a Good Thing

So, hero came home on R&R at the end of February. I pined for the day he would come home, I longed to be in his arms again, I craved marital intimacy (and I am not just speaking of Oreo's here). This Sunday it has been two weeks since I drove like a maniac hurriedly to the airport to pick him up.  

I love the company of my best friend, I miss him horribly when he is away from the home. YET being with each other almost all day, every day for nearly two weeks might be TOO much of a good thing. For instance, yesterday we had some time to kill while the munchkin was at school. We found ourselves at the mall in search of a watch band for his watch. When we dropped the watch off at a watch repair kiosk I continued on down the mall to one of my favorite book stores, Deseret Books. Hero tagged along nicely for the first thirty seconds and then once he realized I was actually going to *gasp* shop, he started huffing and puffing like our three-year-old daughter (and he wonders where SHE gets that from). In THAT instant I wanted to send him back to work, not back to Afghanistan, just back to his normal 0700 - 1700 job. 

I know once he leaves I will be a blubbering idiot for the first few days, and as the final few months drag on I will miss him and want him home with me. Just not all day, every day.....I really do love that guy.

An idea that grew out of control....

As many of you know, my hero recently left on a 15 month deployment. He starts his journey at Ft. Polk in Louisiana to do combat skills training. Due to Army (he is Air Force, but will be working for the Army for the next year) regulations he will get the opportunity to return home for about a week before shipping out to his final destination in Afghanistan.

To help mark the days I decided to make Miss M a paper chain that she can remove a link each day. The bulk of the chain is red, white, blue, and yellow. However, on the guesstimated dates of his return home in July and then again for mid-tour R&R I placed a green link. I can move the green links as needed.

The chain quickly grew to such great lengths that there is NO WHERE in my home to hang the entire length without cutting across doorways and stairways. So I draped the tail end across the bay window in my dining room and put the rest into a laundry basket on top of the nearest kitchen cupboard.

Each morning we remove a link...each morning we are one day closer to having him home.....

Nice to know I am not alone in my sentiments....

This has been a very unusual assignment for us. We are stationed at Hill AFB in Utah, Phillip is here on a career broadening assignment. Here I feel like an outsider for many reasons.

While Phillip is assigned to a squadron, that changes every 8 months. Of the two he has been assigned to so far not a single one has reached out to get to know Mrs. Wheeler. A huge part of that is the dynamics of this base. There are more civilians working on base than military members. And lets face it, civilians just don't understand nor CARE about the dynamics of a military family and why it is important to take the WHOLE family under your wings. Phillip has a support network in those who are also in the career broadening program, but I just haven't felt that comradeship among the spouses. I do have to admit that I haven't done a very good job of reaching out either. The main reason is drama...I don't do drama and I don't seek it out. This is THE reason I don't touch the OSC with a twenty foot pole! Drama, who needs it? NOT I! Because of the dynamics of the base I really only use the clinic, commissary, and occassionally the CDC...just very different. Fortunately I have access to those, I have a dear friend whose husband just finished an assignment on a Navy Reserve base...now as an Air Force family that HAD to have been WEIRD!

The culture of the area is different. I am a member of the dominate church in the area, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. To me the culture is that of family cohesiveness and intolerance to things that break up the family like alcohol, drugs, adultery, pornography, and things of the sort. I understand the culture, and like the family focused attitude. However, I can see how it can be overwhelming to others. Honestly, sometimes it is overwhelming and condescending to me! Sometimes I just have to scratch my head. How can we claim to be Christ's people in one breathe and judge others in another? In my opinion, it is not my business what my neighbor is doing as long as it isn't hurting me or my family. If my neighbor wants to do X, that is between them and Heavenly Father. I refuse to judge or stick my nose in it. I keep going back to the scripture(and I am sorry that I can't give the reference) that basically says we will be judged in the manner we have judged. And what about "Let ye who has not sinned cast the first stone"? I have no business casting stones. Unfortunately to outsiders it appears as if a lot of stones are being hurled at them if they don't tow the moral line. Just the perspective of a non-Utahan convert now living in Utah.

So, for me it has been the dynamics of the base and the program my husband is in and the culture of the area that has so far made this a very different assignment for us. I was just telling Phillip the other day that I don't feel like a military spouse here, I just feel like I am floating in time waiting for the next assignment. Thank goodness we have family in the area or I would be totally lost.

Yesterday I was invited to attend a meeting with the AFMC Commander's wife. For my other military wife buddies, this was the wife of a four star who has been in the service since before I was born! This lady was so nice and easy to converse with. Real down to earth. I think that is why some of the stuff that was said yesterday was "let out of the bag" so to speak. It was so comforting to know that I am not the only spouse that feels this way. And I learned where the Airman and Family Readiness Center (or whatever they are calling themselves these days) is located at.

It will be very interesting to see how things are the year Phillip is on his remote...thank goodness I have our family and our ward family to call on!

Military Child Syndrome

Military families go through this phenomena called "Military Child Syndrome"...no not really but that is what I am calling it. It can be similar to the "you know you are a redneck if..." jokes.

Today Miss M exhibited the classic "Military Child" trait. I needed to go pick up prescription refills at the clinic on base. As I was getting Miss M out of the car seat, a young female airman was waiting for me to finish so that she could get in her car. When Miss M noticed the airman in her uniform, she exclaimed, "Daddy!"



Trait number one of the "Military Child Syndrome" is assuming all male members of the armed forces in uniform is daddy. Today Miss M proved that you don't necessarily have to be a male in uniform to be confused as "daddy".

Gone two out of the next three years???!!!

I am blogging this because writing about it helps me grasp my fingers around it and squeeze....

Friday night we were driving home from a wedding reception in Bountiful. As is quite the norm our conversation turned to Hero's military career and the fact that he will be leaving for a year next spring/summer. I knew that was coming, it is a fact of life that I have just accepted. In fact he really should be winding up a one year remote tour in Greenland this July. However, this career broadening program has enabled our family to stay complete for two precious years. Not to say that we are incomplete when he is gone, but there is a huge hole when he is away. I knew a remote was coming, it is just a fact of the life of a military wife. You accept it, handle it, live through it, and move on.

Let me give my non-military friends a little back ground. When military personnel decides who will serve a remote tour and when they have set a criteria they try to follow, (As with all things in the military there are waivers to get around the criteria.) they first "rack and stack" the personnel by their particular rank and career field. Then they decide how far back they go for a previous "short tour" return date. A military member gets short tour credit once a deployment or remote tour has reached 6 months and one day. Hero has been in the Air Force since July 1998, and by the grace of God has yet to serve a short tour. He came close the last time he was deployed, if his journey home from Iraq last time he was deployed would have taken a few more days he would have gotten a short tour credit. So since he has not served a short tour yet, his return date is the date of his enlistment, July 1998. When he looked at the short tour information as we were preparing to move from Alaska they were looking at Captains with a return date of 2000 or older, and since they couldn't fill the all the slots with those available they were even sending those with a return date of 2003. That is why he was originally supposed to go to Greenland.

Now this career broadening program is an AWESOME thing for his career. However, since he was "hot" for a remote before, he is "scorching" now. We KNOW with great certainty that he will be leaving for a one year remote tour spring/summer 2010, and we have also been told not to be surprised if it is to the sandbox. (I think Hero is privately hoping for Afghanistan because he has already done Kuwait and Iraq, I am still holding out for Greenland.)

Okay, now back to our conversation Friday night. Hero informs me that I shouldn't be surprised if he is gone two of the three next years. Imagine my shock! I had accepted one, but two??!!! (I know it could be much worse, but I don't even allow myself to go there.) Once I picked my jaw up off my lap and brushed away the tears that were starting to form, I asked Hero to explain. His theory....he is smoking hot for a remote tour as a Captain. Sometime during that year he is gone or shortly after he returns he should be putting on Major(yippee!!). In his career field, Majors are in even more demand for remote tours. Right now they are sending Majors that have a return date of 2003 or earlier and already have one (or none) short tour credit, and are having a hard time filling those slots. Hero speculates that by the time he returns the situation will be even worse. He thinks this will happen; he will return in spring/summer of 2011. We will move on to our next duty station. Because he will be "untouchable" for six months after he returns from his short tour he won't leave again immediately. (Remember my friends I did mention that there is a waiver for EVERYTHING in the military. While Hero swears he has not heard of them sending anyone back on a short tour before those six months were up, I will believe it when I see it.) However, he feels strongly that shortly after those six months are up he will be sent yet again on a year long short tour. Sigh

Guess we'll just cross that bridge when we get there....but since that seed has been planted in my mind I can't seem to shake it.

Madingley American Cemetery

With Veteran's Day fast approaching I find myself pondering on the sacrifices given so that I be free; valiant men and women who have given the ultimate sacrifice, the parents who have lost children, spouses who have lost their mate, and the children who have lost a parent. As a military spouse I hear all the time, "I don't know how you do it." To be honest, I don't know how not to do it.
With that in mind, while I don't know how painful that ultimate sacrifice is, I can imagine.

While stationed at RAF Lakenheath I had the opportunity to go to Madingley American Cemetery when Hero's parents came to visit. I remember the day well. Hero had to work to I had taken Hero's parents to play tourist. We thought it would be well worth our time to stop. Madingley American Cemetary is located just outside Cambridge.

Our flag at half mass always brings a tear to my eye as
I think of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice.

How can one not be affected by the sight
of row upon row of graves for our fallen heros?


Religion, ideology, race, gender....all different but each shown the proper respect due without prejudice....as it should be.

The beauty of nature mixed in to remind us that all is not ugly with death.

These photos were all taken at Madingley American Cemetery, June 2004, by Lynn Wheeler
For more information on Madingley American Cemetary, please visit:
http://www.abmc.gov/cemeteries/cemeteries/ca.php

Lynn

 

Hill AFB here we come

So, we have our orders. We are going to Hill AFB in Utah. We've known for sometime now, even sent an email out...don't know why it has taken me so long to blog about it.

As luck would have it, it is pure happenstance that we are going to Hill. More like an answer to prayers if you ask me. Hero was and still is due to do a remote tour. He informed AFPC (Air Force personnel) that he was interested in the Logistics Career Broadening program. It is a competitive program. Every year they accept 30 to 40 Captains from several different career fields. By the time you break it down only 3 to 4 LRO's (Hero's career field) are selected every year. There are three bases they do this at; Warner-Robbins in Georgia, Tinker in Oklahoma and Hill in Utah. You don't get to chose which base, don't even get to rate them...you are just told where to go and when to be there.

In Utah we have Hero's family in the area. My mother lives in Oregon and my dad lives in Colorado. So it will be so nice to be close to family for awhile.
Hero thinks that we could be there up to five years. The training is 2 years. Then he thinks he will have to go do a remote, in which case Miss M and I will just stay put. At the end of this training he will owe AFMC(not sure of the acronym, but that is what Hero keeps referring it as) one tour. And he thinks he can request to come back to Hill after the before mentioned remote tour. All this means that we are looking into buying a home! Very exciting and very daunting all at the same time.